Tag Archives: struggle

Resolution Revolution

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2014 has been a rollercoaster year, and my memories more easily tend to the downs instead of the ups.  Thirteen deaths of family and close friends, including the untimely death of my beloved son-in-law at the age of 26, have skewed my vision toward the difficult moments.

I am thankful that life is not always dark and dreary.  The birth of my seventh grandchild, a beautiful little girl, and my graduation from college (at age 47 years and 11 months!) have helped to balance the scales with joyful positives.  As time goes on the, the pain of the losses will become less sharp and the beauty of new life and new conquests will become the focus.

As in all circumstances, I can choose to become bitter because of heavy happenings, or I can choose to become better by learning from these experiences. My success at surviving life and its challenges thus far is pretty good, but I want to do more than just survive.  I want to make a valuable difference in my life, in the lives of those around me, and in as many lives as I can possibly touch in any way.  I can use the situations in my personal history to help others in their personal situations.  I must remember that I am stronger because of coming through times when I was very weak.

Against the current

Because I want to make a difference, I must become more intentional about how I live my life.  I have three simple resolutions this year, all directly from God’s instructions.  I am sharing these ideals for two reasons: by sharing my goals with others, I am held accountable for upholding my actions to these goals by many other people, creating a large support group, and by sharing my goals with others, maybe they will be spurred on to good deeds by my example.

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Goal one:  “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. ” (from the passage found in Matthew 22:34-40).

Love God, love others.  How hard is that?  Apparently, not as easy as four little words should be.  When I pay more attention to my iPad than to my husband, am I loving others?  When I lose my temper because a volunteer musician waited until Saturday to look at the music for Sunday, therefore they did not practice a new song, am I loving others, or even loving God, whom I am supposed to be worshipping through those very songs?  When I am driving and another driver cuts me off so I start yelling at him or her, am I loving others?

Lord, help me love like You love, without any ifs, ands, or buts.  Make my love for others be unconditional and freely given.  Let my love for You shine through everything I do.

Love others

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Goal two:  “Do all things without complaining…” (from the passage found in Philippians 2:14).

I used to think that I did not complain much, that I was fairly easy-going, and went with the flow without much dispute.  I thought that way until my husband said to me one day, “You complain an awful lot.  Are you just unhappy or what?”  So I stepped back and listened to myself and my words.  I was surprised by just how much I grumbled when plans don’t go the way I think they should, and how critical and, yes, judgmental I could be.  This is a goal I have been working toward for quite a while, and who says a resolution has to be completely new?  If you still have not perfected a habit, why not keep practicing?

Lord, help me to remember that when I grumble and complain against others that I am grumbling and complaining about Your creation.  I want to see to see people and circumstances as You see them, as beautiful masterpieces and opportunities for growth.

attitude

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Goal three:  “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven…” (from the passage found in Ecclesiastes 3:1).

I am adopting this goal in connection with my personal calendar and activities.  I often find myself wasting my time on a game for hours, while the laundry and dishes need done, or a paper needs researched and written, or I should be sleeping.  I often find myself up against a deadline when I had plenty of time to complete the task.  I also find myself saying “no” when I should say “yes” to an invitation, and saying “yes” when I should really say “no.”

Lord, help me to make your priorities my priorities, and help me to remember that You created a day of rest for a reason.

urgent or important

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Finally, I would leave you with this thought:

Did I offer peace today

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Coming Clean

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The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive. – Marianne Williamson

 Forgiveness

If you could see me as I am writing this, you would be looking at a previous World Champion of Grudge-Holders.  Oh, I do come by it honestly.  You see, I am a human being, a person just like you, and as such, I tend to cling to complaints, seize slights, and take tabs on transgressions.  I have since become better (I think) at letting go of the perceived wrongdoings of others, but only after I came around to asking others to forgive me.  Yes, you read that right.  I had to first ask forgiveness for my own faults before I could truly begin to forgive those who had hurt me, whether these “crimes” against me were committed knowingly or unknowingly.

I have a wonderful friend, a very classy lady indeed.  At one time, early in our relationship, I developed a tremendous jealousy, not about her as a friend, but of her as a competitor.  She is absolutely beautiful, she can sing like an angel, she can dance with elegance, she can write songs, plays, and prose.  She has an adoring husband and a spectacular home.  She had the whole enchilada, and I had a cheese taco.  One day, and I cannot tell you the catalyst or cause, I knew that I needed to confess my feelings to her, and I needed to do it that day! After choir practice that evening at church, I ran to catch up to her in the parking lot.  I revealed my enviousness to her, and asked her to forgive me for my bitter attitude.  She replied that she had no idea that I ever felt anything like this resentment, and she forgave me.  She forgave me!  It was as if a mammoth millstone had been removed from my mind.  Today, we are even better friends.   She is still beautiful, graceful, and elegant, and I am still me – and I am forgiven.

Sometimes, we are called to forgive a wrong done to us knowingly by another.

Sometimes, we are called to forgive a wrong done to us of which the culprit is unaware.

Sometimes, we are called to ask for forgiveness for something we have done.

Sometimes, we are called to ask for forgiveness for something we have done of which the victim is unaware.

Sometimes, we are called to forgive ourselves.

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. – James E. Faust

Your history is history.  How you react to it can make you better or it can make you bitter.  The future is up to you – what is your choice?

All Things New

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It seems that Spring has finally arrived here in Indiana!  After a relentless “bi-polar vortex” Winter, the sound of birds singing and green sprouts pushing upward bring an even greater appreciation of warm weather than usual.

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(photo by Heidi Jasper)

I think Isaiah was prophesying for Hoosiers when he wrote: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”  Isaiah 43:18-19 

Sometimes a celebration of beauty is a struggle.  It can be difficult to find and appreciate beauty around when you feel like you are sinking in despair and depression.  This is when you need to seek out beauty the most!  Do something for yourself:  Go for a walk, go for a drive, go for a coffee – just go!  Now find one small thing that turns up the corners of your mouth.  For me, it was the buds on my lilac bush that, no matter how my husband tries to bring about its demise, still holds on and buds out every year.  No flowers yet, mind you, but at least bits of green and eventually glossy leaves appear.

Day to day life will have its ups and its downs; there is no denying that fact.  Some days will be mountaintops, and some days will be deep valleys, and some days will be deserts.  But most days will be somewhere in meadows, or rolling hills, or calm forests.  Claim these middle-ground days for when you are struggling through the valley or desert.

The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.

-Samuel Smiles